Was it 2-3 years ago..
I went fishing during the Lebaran holiday..
I went with a younger friend of mine..
We went for one night and two days.. and I have two phones..
I tossed the one with internet to my second daughter to play with
and took only the one that can make calls (a 2D flip phone)..
After spending the day, it must have been the next morning around the time the sun was rising..
I was blankly staring out at the open sea when I suddenly thought of my mother,
so I called her in Korea..
But..
While I was on the phone, another call came in..
I saw it was my wife..
So I kept talking with my mother..
After I hung up with my mother..
I called my wife back and she was furious..
She said she thought I had fallen in the water and drowned..
When she called me, the line was ringing but I wasn't picking up,
so it seems she called my younger friend..
But that guy apparently didn't hear his phone either because he was busy fishing..
So..
I explained that I had been in the middle of a call with my mother and we hung up..
Then my younger friend said..
What does a grown man have so much to talk about with his mother
that he stays on the phone that long?..
He gave me a hard time about it..
Hearing that, I checked my call log..
and it turned out we had talked for about 30 minutes..
When I talk with my mother..
KakaoTalk calls cut out a lot so I use a regular call,
and it seems like we usually talk for about 30 minutes..
There's nothing particularly special to talk about..
My wife says we just repeat the same things over and over.. haha
My maternal grandmother passed away a few years ago..
But..
Whenever I happen to overhear my mother talking with my uncle on the phone, it goes like this..
Everything okay?..
Yes.. all is fine..
And then the two of them just sit there holding their phones..
Since there's not much to say, the calls get fewer and farther between,
and well.. that's just how it goes..
Thinking about it carefully..
my uncle is naturally a man of few words..
and I got the feeling my grandmother was a little intimidated by her own son..
Because..
he was the type who handles everything on his own without being asked,
he was a model kid from a young age..
and he just wasn't the type to give anyone a reason to nag..
And so..
a parent's heart worries about their child even when the child is 60, like a kid left near the water's edge..
So even while telling themselves not to nag, they end up nagging anyway..
And the child listens to the nagging and says don't worry..
Well.. those kinds of things need to be exchanged back and forth..
But when there's nothing like that to talk about,
all that's left is "everything okay?.." and just holding the phone..
In contrast, in my case..
Make sure you eat breakfast..
Are you exercising?..
You quit drinking, right?..
Is work manageable?..
Drive carefully..
They say thick thighs mean better immunity even when you get sick..
Diabetes runs in the family.. they say you shouldn't lie down right after eating..
Are you saving any money?..
Roughly that much.. and..
I share my news too..
Brag that my older daughter got a 100 on her Korean exam..
Before you know it..
at least 30 minutes have gone by..
From what I've seen and experienced..
a child who needs a little looking after and hasn't quite grown up
seems to be more filial (?) than one who handles everything perfectly on their own..
You know how people say..
I'm so worried about that kid I won't be able to close my eyes even when I die..
When there's still something you feel responsible for, the attachment to life grows stronger,
and naturally you take care of your own health and seem to live longer..
You can't have a call with your child where there's nothing to say and it feels like a burden..
Honestly, that's why I've been.. pretending all this time to need a lot of looking after.. pretending to be immature..
I've been living that way.
All to be a good son to my mother..
All of you should be filial like me..
And don't forget to cause a little trouble (?) every few years..
