It's been over 10 years, I think..
I went to church on Sunday for service
and was eating at the church cafeteria..
A deacon around my age I know greeted me..
which is customary..
and after looking at me, that deacon said..
' Your hair and beard grew a lot since last week..'
He said something like that..
Since I'm alive, hair naturally grows if you don't cut it,
so I wondered why he'd make a big deal out of it..
Apparently from his perspective,
he felt my hair grows much faster than other people's..
Thinking about it now, I wonder if he had some interest(?) in me,
since he saw me a week ago and only a week later
said my hair had grown a lot, which surely means he'd been looking closely at me..?
Or maybe he just said it as small talk with nothing else to say..
So..
Even though I might seem gruff, I do have some manners,
so I smiled in response..
but since he kept talking, staying silent would've seemed rude,
so I gave a light one-line reply..
' I tend to think a lot of racy thoughts, so my hair grows fast..'
I said it without much thought,
but he seemed somewhat shocked(?),
and he apparently kept telling that story to everyone he met..
That Deacon Wol-jang-jip thinks racy thoughts a lot, so his hair grows fast..
But.. it wasn't a story I made up..
and although it's not exactly accurate medical info,
I remembered seeing it somewhere in the news, so that's what I said..
If I'd made that kind of joke(?) at a drinking gathering,
it would've just passed as a joke..
but because I said it at church,
people's reactions weren't cold, but they didn't seem too pleased either, I think..
But..
I wasn't joking around during the worship service..
it was said while eating at the cafeteria when someone next to me struck up conversation,
and honestly, this is just my opinion, but that kind of remark isn't blasphemy or a big deal, is it..
So what I thought at the time was..
Ah.. people really are bound by so much formality and etiquette,
that's the thought I had..
With the deacon who told me my hair grew a lot,
I've actually had drinks together before..
Outside it's fine, but inside church it's a bit different..
which makes me feel like he has a double standard..of course, that's just my opinion..
I suppose anyone would feel this way,
but I dislike being bound by things..
though I also try to avoid behaving inappropriately regardless of time and place..
If possible, I try not to get angry..
if possible, I want to take care of those less fortunate than me..
if possible, I'm one of those people trying(?) to practice loving my neighbor..
What's visible to the world isn't everything..
So I want to be free..
Formality, etiquette, that kind of thing, not really my style..
I shaved yesterday..
seems like it was about 3 weeks since the last time..
But thinking about it carefully..
my 3-week beard didn't seem to grow that much(?)..
in the past, even 1-2 weeks would've grown quite a lot, I feel..
Maybe it's because I haven't been thinking racy thoughts lately..
and I feel a bit sorry(?) toward my wife about that too..
